Everything feels like a dream.

Heartbreak is a strange experience. You never know when the bad days are coming or how long they’ll last. You just gotta try to keep your head above water and hope for the best. It’s like grief of any sort: it comes in waves, increases and decreases in frequency and intensity at what feels like random intervals, can be triggered by things you may or may not expect, and can hit you anywhere at any time.

There are moments I forget I’m hurting. Life carries on, the world keeps turning, time keeps ticking regardless of what is happening inside of your own world. Familiar people, places, and routines can make it feel as though nothing has changed.

Then there are moments I can’t shake the sadness. A song, a phrase, a show, a memory, a place. The feeling envelops me and I just have to let it run its course. And unfortunately, it doesn’t discriminate against any time or place.

The rest of the time I feel as though I’m floating through life in some sort of daze. I just go through the motions, not really conscious of any of the decisions I’m making. I’m basically navigating through life on autopilot. I feel numb, everything is hazy and dreamlike, and at times it’s hard to decipher what is real and what isn’t.

Yet my dreams are so vivid. Most mornings I wake up with a heavy heart and I have to remind myself that none of it was real.

I can’t wait for this part to be over.

My brother came across a quote the other day that resonated with me: “Grief is just love with no place to go.” (unknown)

Damn. Hit me right in the feels.

I know when you’re hurting it can be hard to see the light. But just know that it won’t last forever and you are never alone.

Love y’all.

A