This is a segment of something I wrote last September, my last week in Toronto. With my impending departure creeping up and my future with *him* undiscussed and completely uncertain, I just wanted to drink in every possible moment I had left with him. Thinking back to these moments still brings back incredibly vivid memories and all the feels. I can still remember everything about that room in the dark and it still makes my heart ache to think back on those last few days and having to leave him.

And on the last night
You left the door ajar for me
You were fast asleep
I undressed in the dark
Crawled into my side of your bed
You wrapped your arm around me
And I settled into the nook
Between your chest and your shoulder
And I lay awake running my fingers mindlessly over your body
Tracing every edge, crevice, and curve
Committing to memory every inch of you
And feeling your energy
Your warmth
One last time
And I kissed you
As many times as I could without waking you
5 a.m. came too soon
“I’m falling,” I thought,
“I need more time.”
Still half asleep
You kissed me goodbye
Too many times to count

I can still taste your lips
Still feel them pressed on mine
We exchanged soft-spoken words
Carefully chosen
Deliberately casual
I peeled myself away from you
Quietly dressed in the dark
And I walked out of your room
Your home
And your life

Here I am
Fast forward eight days exactly
One hundred ninety two hours
Alone on my side of my bed
Different city
Different time zone
Different life
But I still feel the same
I can still taste your lips
Feel your skin
Hear you breathe
I am still yours.